Starting the Conversation: How Early Is Too Early?

Tips for age-appropriate discussions about bodies and puberty

One of the most common questions parents and carers ask is:“When should I start talking about bodies, puberty, and periods?”

The short answer? Earlier than you think and in much smaller ways than you imagine.

As a youth worker and sexologist, I’ve supported many young people who wish they’d had these conversations earlier, not in one big talk, but through calm, everyday moments that made them feel prepared rather than shocked.

There Is No “Too Early” Only “Too Much”

Talking about bodies isn’t the same as talking about sex.Young children don’t need detailed explanations. What they do need is:

• Correct language

• Simple, honest answers

• Reassurance that their body is normal

You’re not giving too much information if you’re responding to their questions in a way they can understand.

Why Starting Early Matters

Children are reaching puberty earlier than ever before. Many young people experience body changes including their first period before anyone has explained what’s happening. When conversations start too late, young people may:

• Feel scared or confused

• Think something is wrong with them

• Learn from peers or the internet instead

Early, age-appropriate conversations build trust and confidence.

What to Talk About — By Age

You don’t need to follow this perfectly. Every child is different.

Early Childhood (Ages 3–5)

Focus on:

• Body parts and correct names

• Understanding that bodies are private

• Normalising that bodies grow and change

Simple language works best:

“Everyone’s body is different, and bodies change as we grow.”

Early Primary (Ages 6–8)

You can introduce:

• The idea that puberty happens later

• That some people get periods

• That these changes are normal

Keep it factual and calm:

“One day, your body will grow and change. We’ll talk about it when the time comes.”

Pre-Teen Years (Ages 9–11)

This is a key window. Start talking about:

• Puberty changes (body hair, growth, emotions)

• Periods before they start

• Hygiene and self-care

Many children will get their first period around this age or earlier.

Teen Years (12+)

Conversations can include:

• Emotional changes

• Body image and self-esteem

• Boundaries and consent

• Support systems and where to get help

This is less about teaching and more about listening.

You Don’t Need “The Talk”

One big, awkward conversation isn’t necessary or helpful. Instead:

• Answer questions as they come up

• Use everyday moments (TV, shops, school forms)

• Check in occasionally: “Do you have any questions?”

Small conversations over time build safety.

What If You Feel Awkward?

That’s okay. Most adults do. You can say:

• “I feel a bit awkward, but this matters.”

• “I didn’t learn this growing up, so we’re learning together.”

Honesty builds connection.

A Note From My Work

In my work as a youth worker and sexologist, I often meet young people who say:

“I wish someone had explained this before it happened.”

Starting early doesn’t take away innocence, it replaces fear with understanding.

A Gentle Reminder

You don’t need to get it perfect. You just need to be open, calm, and available. When young people know they can come to you with questions at any age you’ve already done something incredibly powerful.